At least I don't look 80

 I was having a rough day and because of this I was barely moving. I'm pretty sure my grama could of done laps around me. My mom called to see how I was doing; I told her that I felt like I was 80 years old not knowing that my 8year old nephew was listening. He quickly responded, "Auntie at least you don't look like you're 80!" I couldn't help but laugh talk about seeing the positive in the situation.

The Irony

I love shoes, everything about them amazes me. Shoes have the power to change your day well in my opinion they do. I know if I'm having a bad day all I need to do is put on a great pair of heels and instantly I feel more confident like I can take on the world.
Like I've mentioned before I am an artist. I have been called a shoe artist because the majority my work consists of shoes. I love the fact that you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes but I also like  to portray how you can't judge a person by their shoes.
When I started to get sick I ended up having to come home from school because it was affecting my classes so it has slowed me down on making art. That did upset me because I was so close graduating.But then the other day I had something happen that hurt more than the pain of the disease itself.
The other day I was wanting to wear my favorite pair of heels, I was feeling really girly that day and I hadn't worn them in awhile so I figured why not. As I was putting them on, my feet were so stiff and painful that I had to take them off right away. I sat on my bed crying that moment was when I realized that this cruel disease wasnt just going to affect my body but also the things I love. Even though it hurt it made me even more determined to kick RA in the face!u

New challenges

Im back! I haven't felt well so I haven't written in awhile. I've been facing some new challenges. I've had another flare and the Plaquenil has been doing numbers on my stomach and has pretty much got rid of any appetite I had, resulting in me losing 7lbs this last week.
I've been looking for some type of medical coverage since I started getting sick. I'm considered high risk so I've been denied over and over. I was told to go to the Medicaid office to see if they could give me any information on where to try next. The lady told me the only way that they could help me was if I got pregnant. My mom was with me when this happened and she's not a very quiet person her sarcastic reply was "Seriously you're saying she needs get pregnant to get insurance? hmm guess we need to start interviewing candidates." Yes the trips to doctors, all of the tests and meds are expensive but there's no way I am getting pregnant just to get help. I found it hilarious that would even be an option though I have heard of people doing that.
I was told about a high risk insurance for people who are denied due to pre-existing conditions. I looked into it and found that the government had closed the program to new enrollment March 2,2013. So for now I'm still on the search for what to do....there has to be something I can do!

The Closet Disease

Ive come to realize that there are so many people who keep quiet about being diagnosed with RA. I believe that it is because they are afraid of the reaction that they will get so they find it easier and safer to keep silent about it.
I was asked why I'm so open about having this disease. Yes I've been told numerous times before I was diagnosed that it was all in my head, but I knew there was something wrong. When I finally received a diagnosis I was sort of relieved to now have an answer, but I was faced with a whole different reaction that I was not prepared for. I was bombarded with "But you don't look sick" "aren't you too young for that?" "the pain can't be that bad". It was then that I realized that people haven't really heard about the disease and the ones that have are misinformed. After all there's not much awareness that has been brought to it.
So it's not that I am wanting sympathy. I'm open about having RA because I personally know how it feels to be dismissed like its no big deal. It's like a verbal slap in the face and it can hurt worse then the disease itself. So if by my speaking out helps inform others; and help relieve the burden of those who are afraid to speak out because they're worried about how they'll be treated.....it's all worth!

My enemy returns

I love New Mexico! It really is a beautiful state, but the weather here can change drastically in a blink of an eye. We went from enjoying gorgeous 80 degree weather to a hard freeze in as little as a few hours. Normally I would be ok with it because cold weather was my favorite! Winter was always such a magical time of year for me. I guess it was because out here in good ol eastern New Mexico we don't get snow as often as other parts of the state, so I was always intrigued by snow. But that was all before RA and Raynaud's hit. 

Cold weather has now become my number one enemy! I spent the majority of last night crying, tossing and turning trying to find a position to lay in that did not cause excruciating pain. After what seems like an eternity I got tired of my bed so I manage to get up and hobble like a viejita to the living room to see if the couch was more comfortable. I did manage to get in a few hours of sleep before I was awakened again by it.

I am currently still on the couch under piles of blankets with a space heater right next to me. Oh and i mustnt forget the numerous pairs of socks I also have on and yet I am still freezing. I can thank the raynaud's for that. Raynaud's syndrome can be seen on its own with no known cause or can be a symptom of autoimmune disease. Mine is the symptom of autoimmune. Raynaud's affects the circulation in your extremities so it's hard to warm up and it turns your fingers, toes, and sometimes your ears and nose red, white, and blue. Very patriotic huh! But there is always a positive in every situation and my doctor ordered that I go shopping! Well maybe not in those exact words but he did say that I needed to wear gloves, scarves, hats and extra socks to try to stay warm....close enough!

Well I do believe it's time for a nap! :o)

New to all of this

I have read the occasional blog but had never thought about blogging myself until recently when a friend recommended that I give it a try. But blogging isn't the only thing I'm new to; about two weeks ago which happened to be a week before I turned 28 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, carpal tunnel, tarsal tunnel, and raynaud's syndrome. My rheumatologist also is testing for lupus.                

I was kind of relieved to finally have an answer. I know your probably wondering why I would be relieved but you see I've been dealing with several health issues for the last 8 months. I even had to come home during my last semester of school so I had to postpone graduating. All this may have slowed me down but I refuse to let it stop me! I plan on kicking RA in the face!